Friday, November 28, 2008
Why shall we be forced to making choices? Sometime the decision we make is not according to our will but for the best.
Now I had two situations that I hatta make a harsh decision. I had no idea how, scare that once a mistake will make myself regret. Hating the feeling of regretting, why hasn’t I choose the other way instead of this? Lol, confliction occurs inside me now…
Actually it wasn’t anything hard just headache that need to make a decision that is the best solution that everyone will happy with it, including me.
Firstly, I had sign up for a 4 days 3 night Buddhist camp, which I joined every year, wanted to meet up my Buddhist friends so badly, to reunion with them, to tell them what had happen to me about my life in matric. There is like my second home, let me feel peace and comfortable and place that will bring me away from this stressful life.
Unfortunately, this camp crush with my college, which one is on 18 dec and the other is on 19. How? Crazy! But luckily both are at the same place. Lucky or not? I am force to join my college’s as I am the exco of students’ representative. Seem that I don’t have any choice. I was thinking that I apply holiday for two days then I go for the Buddhist camp for the first and a half day, my college’s students will only come on Friday after class. But on the hand, I will miss up a lot but most importantly is I have biology practical in Thursday morning, if I missed it I will get no mark for that report. Then, if I go after my practical, then I will only reach there at 12 noon. It is late and so troublesome. Hatta trouble Jeremy comes to pick me up and was thinking quit the camp. But I was told that there aren’t enough participants so I am not allowed or I will not get back my money. RM180!!! That is my pocket money. And I am not sure whether I can manage applying for holiday. Why no matter which ways I take also a dead end.
Someone told me to follow my heart, but the situation doesn’t allow me to do so.
Second one, my college is organizing Chinese New Year activity, I had joined protocol and stage decoration’s which was pulled by my friends because of not enough people. And I told myself that I am not gonna join back performances, cause dun want let myself ended up like last time tired of practicing. Yesterday, I randomly go see they practicing che ling (a traditional Chinese game) and I seem to get interested toward it. Died lo, I where have time to join so many activities o.. If I feel bad if suddenly quit the other two, they were not enough people only ask help for me, den I fong fei gei, I also dun like the me who do something until half way then give up. But the che ling was what I wanna learn since my high school but hatta give up because of transport problem. Two of my different inner self are arguing and fighting lol…
I hatta give up a lot of my wills and dreams last time but I dun want this happen again. Why is it that I hatta betray my will in making decision. Why can’t the situation just be on my side? After coming here, I like being trained to making different types of decision. Important or small thing… Just hope that God can lend me a hand or tell me in my dream which is the best decision.
“A good decision is always hard to make because you’ll never know whether the decision was right or not until you’ve already made it. The best is you think rationally and not emotionally. Imagine yourself as an outsider looking at your decision.”
This was told by Chantelle. But Chantelle, do you know is hard!
Maybe this is part of life, part of growth; take it and face it, cause is your fate!
People can only give you advice but can’t help you in making the decision. The last choice is always in your hand!
But advice please…
♥ the world will turn WILD.
9:12 PM
