Saturday, January 3, 2009
Love. What is love?
He had successfully enter my life… why is this happening again? After those hurt and heart-breaking, how could I manage to fall in love again? Isn’t what I told myself and prayed, never fall in love again easily except the guy love me more than I do manage touched me…
He is just a simple guy. No special qualification or talented. But how could he? He had no experience how to court a girl, never fall in love in someone, but how could I? How could I fall into the trap even though he din set a trap, how could I be so stupid. How is this happening, I had the feeling of liking someone secretly, hate the love which have no return, hate being a dummy thinking is there any possibility, hate myself dreaming of it, why can’t just be the another way round?
God, please help me! Help me get out of this kinda suffering, this kinda of feeling, unsure, insecure, helpless feeling. Let me know am I inside his heart…
Is he my Mr. Right? He is nothing good but will show up when I needed. He isn’t humour but manage to cheer me when I am upset. He acts like a small kid, but he knew a lot of thing that I did not. He was a big dummy and always scolded by me but he never feels angry nor counters back. He is a piggy but willing to scarified his sleeping time to help me. Is this how he enters my heart?
When he knew my mp3 spoiled, he knew I can’t study without songs, he borrowed his mp4 to me until I get back my mp3. He borrowed me his laptop when he knew I was rushing for assignment. He called me maybe because I said chat with him is very expensive by messaging. He carried things for me when shopping without complaining. He gave all the vegetable as he knew that I was a vegetarian.
He asked me to cycling after my JPP election to release out my stress, offer me ice-cream after exam, borrowed his math notes during exam till he have no time to finish it, asked me no need to go with him to collect leaves for project because it was drizzling, and accompany me back to hostel at night after our discussion. He bought chocolate to say sorry although wasn’t his fault, and planned treat me ice-cream after the exam.
He patiently listened to my complaints or can say we often complain to each other, that feeling was so nice and sweet. Just wondering when will he be my herm herm.. haha start dreaming again. He was so caring that make me so touched and slowly the love seed grow…
He is so nice but it hurts…
Only a few days spending time together doing project at my friends house, I had found out his weakness and yet his good. And make me found out that I had fall in love with him, in the other hand knew that he was not interested in relationship. I felt jealous when he closes with another girl.
What had happened to me? Who can tell me? Is this worth it? Only time can cure it… should I bury it into a deep deep place or confess to him? I have no idea how!! Can everything just stop then I shall have less troubles and worries!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
9:00 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009 January 01
Actually what is the special of being in the New Year? Now I had the record. Now is 6:07 in the morning... I haven’t sleep yet... just now was celebrating and playing games... I never celebrate New Year, maybe just went to was the firecracker in pyramid...
Got abit headache now, hatta sleep already after the research, cause line at night is faster haha.
I hope in the New Year, i can get good result and manage to study medic in the future. Secondary, i hope my family will be well and happy always and always blessed with good health. Third, if possible get a bf.. lol
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
10:07 PM
