Monday, July 6, 2009
I had slowly accept the fact of not becoming doctor anymore, had another image of enjoying life and dating with my bf. No need to study biology anymore! I wun have the chance to learn more about our part of body, how it work, how to maintain it healthier, know the symptoms of sickness and so on… plants, animals and our environment etc… shall start keeping those precious bio books.
I had realised that all this years I had gone through the wrong path, I no good at biology and never get good result for it, blindly study for so hard and thought of it would be my future. Stupid me never realised that what I really good is chemistry and mathematics. Ignoring what is I and tried so hard to go for what I like. What the decision god makes for me is really for my best.
Why would I wanna be doctor so much? Izit because of fame or interest? To be different and special and prove that I am good since no one in my family history had becoming a doctor. I dun think so. I was a dystocia child, my mum always told me to appreciate of what I had, but I just like to take the challenge and believe that nothing is impossible as we try hard. Nevertheless, thing is always not as easy as we think, and sometimes it just dun work the way we want it to be.
I wondering since when I have come to believe the god’s will, just following. Where had the not-scare-of-lose me gone? Scare to neither take another step forward nor take another challenge after the fall. I felt myself is such a coward! But I really tired and had a painful experience.
I had done my very last try, if this fail, I’ll just give up and dun ever looks backward anymore. I reappeal for the medic course in UM, and with the help of my dad friend who work inside the high ministry department, which have a quite high chance to get it. But if I really get it, how will my mentally and physically which had prepared for the chemistry.
I knew deep inside me still hoping to become a doctor. Yesterday I went to Sunway Medical Centre to do the x-ray. While walking into the hospital, seeing those doctors, I felt sad that place will never be my working place, I will never have the chance of wearing the white coat. Hospital is some place which everyone dislike but I felt that is the place which giving those patients hope to survive, I did felt warm in that place and thinking next time I’ll be the one wearing the white coat working on either SJMC or SunMed helping the patient in A&E department. I’ll promise to be a responsible and kind doctor helping those in needed by having a smile in patient’s face as the reward. It shall be a dream after all. Goodbye my dear Dream!
26 Jun 09 5:23pm
♥ the world will turn WILD.
11:35 PM
