Wednesday, September 9, 2009
我总是贪恋
你离开后
微微的缺氧
武侠小说中
愈是无色无味
愈是剧毒
因此
我挂上耳机
静静读报
喝咖啡
很辛苦地
若无其事着
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:28 PM
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Last Goodbye
Finally the day had come, wondering should I go to farewell him, my friend just texted me and told me that: “不要让这成为另一个遗憾”. True, this might be the last time seeing him. After the decision I even went to check online to see what is the cheapest rate to reach KLIA. Exciting and worrying about it, excited about this will be my first time going to KLIA and worried will us manage to go there and get back safely. It was kinda expensive and none of us were experience in taking KL transport.
1) Express coach (from RM 10 up to 25)
2) Semi Express is by taking commuter and bus (RM7)
3) Taxi (RM57.80)
4) KLIA express (RM35)
5) KLIA Transit (RM 35)
All was kinda expensive, feel so sorry for my friends who accompany me there.
Right after my class, it was raining heavily, I went to the bus stop and waited for my friends to came out from the hostel. We took a taxi to the station university and took LRT to KL central. Over there we went to search for buses and we manage to find airport coach and spend us for RM18 to and fro, everything was still under our control of budget. The 55 minutes was full of thought was will gonna happen next, we keep sms-ing each other and he had no idea I was on my way to meet him.
Inside the airport was so huge and we kinda get loss inside, exploring and kept taking picture inside like it was a trip and totally forgot what our mission was over there. The best part and also my favorite was the chocolate shop! So many different varieties of chocolate and sweets… a place where I wanna spend my entire time over there, have so many supply of chocolate and yet many brand that I never try before. Chocolate lover hehe…
Then I was so headache of what to buy for him, my friend suggested tie (too expensive), socks ( I felt kinda weird) then at last I bought him a note book and wrote a note inside, hope the book will be useful for him in his new studies life at US. Everything was kinda rush and I only manage to meet him for 10+ minutes. He din expect me to come and I wanted to give him a surprise. The time was so short and I still have lotz of stuff wanna talk to him, he started the conversation, seemed he had let go of the past and when he mum came to urge him time to meet his friend and enter the plane. At that moment I became so nervous and dunno what to say, wanted to take a picture with him but my brain just can’t function and I had no idea what to do. Ended up we just had a good bye hug. My brain became blank and all those wishes unable to come out from my mouth.
Seeing he walk away from me, without turning back, his back moving further and further away from me, I turned too to find my friend. No tears, no feeling just some emptiness that I also dunno what happened to me. I though I’ll feel sad or maybe cry, but seemed that I had control well of my feeling. When to the departing hall, seeing him from another corner hugging with his family saying the last goodbye, then seeing him going down the escalator, hoping he would turn back saw me but he just dun realize I was there. Watching his back become smaller and smaller, I knew that why I dun have any feeling, because my heart had followed him and flied away with him.
He went and my friend gave me hugs telling me not to be sad. I was kinda shock with my steady and emotionless, maybe I was really a cold-blooded animal. I continued shop for my chocolate and taking picture like nothing had happened. No matter how I still felt the coldness and the sadness of the airport. We suppose took the 10.30pm bus to come back to KL central but over-attracted to the chocolate and grudge going back. As the result we took 11:30 bus and reached at midnight and cheated by the taxi driver by charging us RM8 each, and we reach none of us said thank you to the driver. We spent RM 30 for the transport but we reached safely. What an expensive trip and just manage to see him for the 10 minutes, I was scolding him why duwan to come to meet me and yamcha as least can chat for longer, and he told me scared later no topic to chat.
Soon my feeling come back, it was so terrible and no matter what I doing, where am I, my mind was full of his shadow and the memories of stuffs we did together before. I hate the feeling, it was so suffering. Besides missing him I can’t concentrate on my studies. What left behind he left were just the memories and the teddy bear he gave me during valentine. Since the day he departure, he din even tried to contact me, while I was the silly one missing him. Telling myself is time to let go of him and move on with my own life. But when I went for basketball training, I saw a guy in the team who was look alike him from the side view, just that the guy was fatter. I was kinda shock and kept looking at the guy, and I thought the guy also realized that. The moment I wanna forget about him, his shadow appear again, dunno was coincident or just my imaginary.
I had no idea what to do, the more I telling myself not to miss him, the more I suffer and can’t concentrate on what I doing I was just like the soul went off from my body, where my soul when I also dunno. Even chocolate din taste like chocolate anymore, my only medicine was kept sleeping, and it was the only time I freed from any mental suffering. No matter how hard I hide my sadness from other, the hurt inside was always the hardest to cover up. My friend told me that why do I look so pale, but who can I tell I was so pain inside and gonna collapse any moment.
All was my fault that when the flower was blooming I din take good care of it; when it fall off and die, only I started to regret and watering it but it was too late. Now the tree had fall sick.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:43 PM
